BY OLUWAKEMI ADEMUYIWA
When it comes to relationships, myopia is not allowed. With a resolution in mind to love a person is beyond feeling. It is a commitment to love and love only, nothing more or less. A relationship is not a playground for children. You have to be psychologically, physically, emotionally mature, and prepared for it. Ask yourself; why do you date or court? Is it for fun or you’re in for serious business? Always know your purpose for entering into any relationship. A relationship is a crucial step into forever.
Your purpose with your partner must be aligned. Many times, people have been broken because someone doesn’t reciprocate the love they feel for them. To be in a relationship, you have to be pursuing the same goal. Any relationship without purpose is nothing. In a friendship, two or more people come together because they have similar visions or goals. They aim towards achieving that goal together and staying as one, communicating their feelings (happy or sad).
Relationships are orchestrated to form a foundation for an eternal union. If you aren’t ready for marriage, don’t date. A “will you marry me” is not appropriate. I wouldn’t date you if I’m not ready for marriage. Every relationship should be geared towards a union. Relationships are meant to serve for a term and elapse into marriage. There is a misplacement of the meaning of love. It has become a global conventional word used inappropriately. Love isn’t what you feel for someone now but what you will feel after years because when you love someone, you love them with their goodies (strengths) and baggage (weaknesses).
“On that lonely street
In the middle of nowhere
You spring forth with an unusual flavor
Pleasing in all manner
Like a spice, you sweeten my heart
A blessing, I would say, is what you are to me
Your aura is refreshing
You give me a new look
You ignite the child in me
I look around and I’m assured that it’s you
That was my thought but was shattered
I thought hard about everything
I wanted to be all in all for you
I came along with every adornment of commitment I found
I desired nothing else
You wanted differently and fought hard for your heart
I realized I lost you or you lost me
We were never aligned
You were just in the feel of the moment
I came with all my goodies and baggage
With great expectations that my acceptance was sure
It all went downslope… “
You don’t look out for someone better but you’re at a resolution that you found the best. Without much ado, you commit yourself to that course. To love and cherish forever and ever. Every purposeful relationship is always blessed and successful. You don’t have to force communication with your partner, it all flows together. When you love, you love everything. You love the way your partner eats, snores, smiles, frowns et al. No comparison is allowed.
It takes two to tango, they say and it’s true. You are both in it together and no one has to be left out. A one-sided purpose-driven love would end up on sloppy ground till it falls hard and can only be resuscitated by love again. Many have suffered but it’s time you realize why you are in that relationship. If you know you can’t handle it or are too young, then don’t date! If you are not ready for forever, don’t date. Relationships are for serious minded purposeful individuals.
Many would miss the road but few would know the way. What you see as important may be useless to another. Know why there is a coming together. A preacher once said that when a man comes to a lady for a relationship, that lady should ask about the kind of assistance she would be offering. This is what I call the purpose check. Let me know what I can do for you is the right response to any relationship request.
It helps to find and sustain purpose. Don’t jump into a relationship because of age, peer, or family pressure but commit yourself to the course that when you find that person, you would love the person with the whole of your heart. You will be committed with no 360° head turn of distraction but with a singular degree of focus.
